Mark und Inge Tolson

Successful language and communication

Your language has great power and far-reaching effects. It has impacts on others and always has an effect on you. You think and communicate in your language. You need a good language for successful communication. This includes an appealing and authentic body language.

A good language is a clear and authentic language. A language that strengthens and encourages you and others. An honest language that is sincere and promotes trust. An open language that helps us understand each other. A language that doesn’t limit us but rather is open to the uniqueness of each individual. A language that does not judge or condemn, but is open to the infinite variety of life situations and motivations. A connecting language with which you can engage in a real dialogue and meet internally. A language that makes it clear that you are present, actively listening and hearing. A language with which you are heard. A consistent, creative and constructive language that helps you get closer to your dreams, wishes and goals.

You communicate with others and you communicate with yourself. You talk to yourself, from yourself and about yourself. And you listen to yourself. What do you say to yourself when a major mistake happens to you or you forget something important? And how do you talk to your children, your partner, students, colleagues, etc., when something important to you went wrong? Or you are disappointed and your expectations have not been met. These are the times and situations in which it is crucial that you have a good language with which you can communicate authentically, clearly and empathically.

I am happy to present for lectures, seminars and individual coaching and I look forward to your inquiries.

Some examples illustrating the effect of language:

  1. You think and affirm prosperity affirmations three times a day: my goal is wealth and financial freedom. But about 100 times a day you think and say sentences like: I cannot afford that. I’m not giving to others – nobody gives me anything. It is shocking, how expensive everything is. It’s not fair that I don’t have more money, etc.
    You think and say words that do not come from a consciousness and sense of prosperity and gratitude, but from want. Even the negative sentences and statements are affirmations, but of something you do not want. What will happen? You will continue to experience deficiency.
     
  2. You leave home in the morning and notice in the car that you have forgotten something important. What do you say to yourself? My memory is getting worse, how could I forget that, I’m so …! Or you can think and say: Fortunately, that occurred to me now. I’m glad I remembered that. You remembered that because otherwise you would not have noticed that you forgot something. It’s up to you to focus on what you want to focus on and what you want to encourage: forgetting and lack of memory or remembering and good memory. In one case you will feel rather bad and inadequate, while in the second case you will feel more grateful. It will also make it easier for you to focus your attention and energy on finding a good solution.
    If it happens that my husband comes back once in the morning, I ask him: What did you remember? He feels better with it. He can confirm that. And I feel better about it.
     
  3. A client or customer calls you and asks you to postpone an appointment. You can answer: no problem. Or you can say: yes, with pleasure. These are just two short words and yet they have a different effect. In the former, you still think about the problem, even though the change is not a problem for you. In the other case, you express that you like to do something for others. He or she will feel welcome, and you too will feel better.
     
  4. You start something new and say: It will probably go wrong! You say that with an uncertain smile, but your brain is irritated by the negative statement. This is in contradiction to what you want. If you want things to work out well, it is good to express that clearly and positively.

  5. The day of many people is filled with “must” statements: Tomorrow I have to get up early. I have to go to work, otherwise I won’t have enough money. I still have to go shopping, cook, do laundry, wash the car, put the kids to bed, finish something, call someone, write a text message, take time for my partner or partner, I must….and I have to … What effect do so many “musts” have? They certainly do not encourage you to feel light and free. They tend to reinforce the sense of being different and having no choice and having to do things that you do not want to do. You will feel stressed out faster, feel under pressure, overwhelmed and helpless. Instead of saying I must, say: I choose to do that. I want to go to work because I want to have more money. I’m going shopping now. I want to put the kids to bed. I want to be there for my child. I choose my activities so that I have time for my partner, because that’s important to me and I enjoy the time with her. You will feel better, stronger and freer.

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